Dogs are natural pack leaders. So what would it be like if they ruled the office? More importantly, what would your dog do if he or she were the corporate boss?!? Would your dog use the leadership for good or ill? Here are five things we can all agree would be at the top of just about any dog’s list after a corporate takeover.
1. Put a Stop to Office Politics
It’s enough of a dog-eat-dog world out there; there’s no need to bring it to the office too. Gossip, manipulation, and mind games — these are all such sleazy ways to conduct ourselves in the office. Instead the new CEO (Canine Officer) would impose strict guidelines that you look out for your fellow co-workers and treat them in a kind and courteous manner. That is, as a matter of fact, the way of the dog.
2. Mandate Playtime/Exercise Hours
This one probably wouldn’t be fought much by the office rank and file. Why? Many of us could stand to lose a few pounds — maybe even the new boss. According to the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention, over 50% of adult dogs are overweight or obese. So why not go and take a Doga (yoga for dogs) class, jog around the dog park, or play some fetch with your dog during “playtime hour”? It sure beats sitting in front of a computer screen all day.
3. Remove Office Chocolates
We love it. They love it. And yet, chocolate is downright poisonous to dogs. Depending on the quantity and type of chocolate ingested, dogs can suffer from vomiting, diarrhea, irregular heart rhythms, seizures and possibly even death! That’s why any new “top dog” would make chocolates a big no-no. Besides, it’s not like that candy bar after lunch is helping us with our diets anyway.
4. Fire the Mailman
That’s right, no mailmen or women allowed. Don’t worry, there are plenty of other ways to deliver the office mail — snail mail (you know, with real snails), e-mail, even air mail (this, of course, would use pigeons exclusively as couriers). It may be a tad bit more difficult to accurately when your mail will arrive, but at least the new boss isn’t chasing your mail (and the mail courier) out of the office.
5. Extend Corporate Benefits to Office Pets
Vacation time? Check. Sick days? Check. And then there’s health insurance. According to some estimates, less than one percent of cats and dogs in the United States currently have pet health insurance. That means unforeseen and catastrophic medical emergencies will end up costing dog owners a fortune! Be glad that you work for a dog that cares and wants to extend coverage to all employee pets.